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Madison, 19 i was stung by a hornet once idk im pretty hardcore



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stephaniealive:

alecats:

books are just dead tattoed trees

That’s metal as fuck




prettyprincest:

my dad likes to play a game called “Passive Aggressively Slams Doors When I’m Angry At My Daughter, Who is Sleeping, The Feigns Innocence About It ‘But Since You’re Up Now, Let Me Tell You Why I’m Mad At You.’”

i dont like this fucking game




my dad likes to play a game called “Passive Aggressively Slams Doors When I’m Angry At My Daughter, Who is Sleeping, The Feigns Innocence About It ‘But Since You’re Up Now, Let Me Tell You Why I’m Mad At You.’”






queen-juvia:

this is my favorite thing of the day


sherrocked:

My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other





thatsmoderatelyraven:

If I were Kendall I would hang this one up in my room and frame it





vvni:

i really needed to see this


Tagged as: im cry,


acrumblebatchwithcustardfreeman:

jtumblr:

plundr:

This is the funniest thing to ever happen to Canada

I have never been prouder to be Canadian

I know how I’ll be wearing my Canada-swag from here on in. -carefully adjusts scarves-



susemoji:

i cannot describe how much i love this post



spudsexuall:

It’s so fucking weird how girls can just tell when our periods start. Like the exact fucking moment. You’re just sitting in bed or standing in line for groceries and your face does that thing kind of like in That’s so Raven when Raven gets a vision





eziocauthon89:

I don’t know which is the “correct” answer, but I know which one I’m going to use from now on




NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.

THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.

TIME DOES NOT EXIST.

BE.

Woah.




kiki-myaki:

Quote from teacher: “You’re taking a photo of ass war, aren’t you”




awwww-cute:

My cat guarding her first and only baby



unclefather:

bewbin:

unclefather:

i thought that “queue” was pronounced “qway” and no one told me until one day i was on netflix and i said “i’ll add that to my qway” and ny laughed at me and told me that’s not how you say it

really? no qway

honestly? i’ll delete